Monday, April 30, 2007

Mother




Today is somewhat of an important day for me. For on this day 17 years ago, I lost my mother to a long battle with cancer. At the time, I was only 17 years old. Not a child, but not yet a woman. I have now lived half of my life without her and oh how I have needed her. We got along fairly well, as well as most teenage daughters do with their mothers and I so longed for the day when my mother would become my friend. I know we would have been great friends, for we are so much alike. I can see in myself that same stubborn, outspoken, independent streak that she had. She loved life, she loved her family and friends, and she loved her church. She instilled in me her love of music, books, and movies. She played the piano and loved to sing, but she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. I suppose that's why she always wanted to show off my singing abilities. She could fry a chicken and bake a pie like nobody I've ever seen. I only wish I had one-tenth of her cooking talents. They say time heals all wounds, and in some ways it's true. The pain of grief is not as intense as it used to be and I can reflect on her without collapsing in a crying heap. But there are days when I wish she could have see my children, held them, and played with them. I wish she could have really known my husband, been there when we were married, or held my hand during those early days of marriage when I didn't know how to be a wife. Those things were not to be and I think maybe I'm a stronger person having gone through them alone.
Mother, I miss you. I love you!

9 comments:

Nadine said...

I'm sorry for your lost. I don't think it matters what age you lose a parent, it's difficult -younger is harder. What a lovely your mom sounded like.

MONA said...

Stacie. This is such a wonderful tribute to your mother.She sure was a lucky mom to have such a loving daughter like you.
Death is the ultimate reality, that all of us have to face sometime in our Life. The moment we are born, we have already taken one step towards our death.
Yet out loved ones stay alive in our memory till we live, even after they are gone.

Art said...

I can admit it... I teared up reading this. I didn't even realize it was the day... though I should have. I remember it like it was yesterday.

I wish I could have known her longer than I did and I wish I could have known her better. I wish that I could have told her what a wonderful job she did raising that little girl who sang so beautifully and turned out to be a darn good cook and a wonderful mother. That girl also grew up to be the best wife in the world despite questionable taste in men...

But you know all this.

And she does too.

krystyna said...

Hi Stacie!
I'm so sorry!
Your mother is happy now.
Art, you right, she did a wonderful job.
What a great tribute from both of you.
A lot of blessings!

Vicki said...

Stacie, this is a beautiful tribute to your mother. She sounds like a wonderful mother. All the things I could say sound so trite. I know how much you must have missed her over the years, because I know how strongly I depended on my own mother throughout the years, even after becoming a mother myself. I believe that these trials do make us stronger and better people. From what little I know of you, I believe she would be very proud of you!

DogBlogger said...

((((Stacie))))

My mom's been gone a long time, too.

Shionge said...

Hiya Stacie..I know how you feel as I missed my Father oh so badly too.

She is always here with you Stacie.

Stace said...

Thank you all for your wonderful, supporting comments. You don't know how much they mean to me. :)

Susan as herself said...

I know exactly how you feel---or almost. I mean, I was 24 when my Mom died, and I am not married with kids, but I often wonder what it'd be like if she'd lived. I think we'd have been best friends too.

Bake a pie and sing a song in her honor! :)